BLOG 40: SEASONAL EMOTIONAL OUTBURST
On Boxing Day this year, I burst into tears for no apparent reason!
It seemed completely beyond my control. I was unaware I felt fragile!
After the potatoes were served up (which most annoyingly, hadn’t roasted properly so became that final ridiculous straw!), it was like the dam gave way.
Not only did I feel thoroughly defeated by cooking a simple meal for just 3 people, but I felt quite incapable of any logical thought or reason at all!
I know Christmas time can feel pressurised, but my life is not stressful at the moment. I am incredibly lucky! This made me feel even worse about my inability to ‘cope’. I felt there was no earthly reason to feel this overwhelmed! So many people deal with SO much more!
There you go…another unhelpful reaction… comparison!
With a few days to regain focus, I have realised that most of what I have ‘let slide’ since leaving London 18 months ago, is giving myself time to properly process all the ups, downs and dramas of moving city (once) and moving house (twice) whilst remaining self-motivated enough to produce work, be present for others, deal with sadness, joys, grief and change.
It can all leave you without many resources, but despite the challenges going on under the surface, I have simply been carrying on as if nothing has changed, ignoring signs and symptoms of things not being quite right. Just to top it off I have been taking responsibility for problems that are not even mine to tackle and allowing myself to worry pointlessly.
And there you go…POP!! Something gave way! The upside was that it made me pause and realise I need to be responsible for my own challenges first and foremost. I was reminded of that instruction to ‘put on your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs’!
During January, I intend to become more vigilant again regarding my own ‘pressure cooker’ moments and regularly release the pressure as it arises, so it doesn’t build up to ‘POP’ levels and let something as insignificant as an uncooked potato get the better of me!!
I expect you can all relate!
Remember “Don’t let it get you down, you can take it!” (Thanks Chris White!)
PERSPECTIVE IS ALL.
Loads of love, lightness and energy for 2022.